Thoughts provoked in Amsterdam…
All too often we forget that there is so much more outside our nice comfortable little routine, our school, our job, our town it's all the same day after day, well I don't know about you reader, but I crave adventure! No seriously I get so bored and comfortable just staying where I am; in fact I bored right now… UCSC (Tues & Thur.), Surf City Coffee (Mon, Wed, Fri), Vintage Faith (Sun.) When just a matter of months ago I was backpacking through Holland on a five day tour of Amsterdam.
It all started with a night in the airport. Here's the deal, when you want to go anywhere in Europe screw the Euro-pass which is hundreds of dollars and takes hours in a train, when for less money you can fly on a discount airline. We took Ryan Air which was fast, easy, 50 dollars round trip (after taxes) and the only down side is that our plane left at 6AM so we had to spend the night in the airport because the early bus to the airport didn't leave until six. It wasn't that big of a deal though and was definitely worth it.
After a 2 hour bus ride from the airport we arrive here, at central station by the harbor.
Yes, this was our first stop after we arrived. Now I would describe myself as a law-biding, God-fearing, American citizen but… I'm not in America anymore, and I didn't want to deprive myself of any bit of the European experience. Should the law be our only motivation for not smoking? If marijuana was made legal in the United States would you smoke it? Now that I'm 21 I don't feel guilty about having a couple of beers because it's legal, shouldn't the same rules apply in Amsterdam, maybe they shouldn't? I had been debating this issue ever seen I reserved my plane ticket and now it was time to make my decision…
Yeah well, you guessed it, sorry if I just went down a couple points in your book but I don't really care. I WAS IN AMSTERDAM ALRIGHT! No Josh isn't perfect, but whatever I've always thought weed was better for you than drinking anyways.
Interestingly enough munchie shops like these are always strategically right across the street from every coffee shop/smoke shop you go to. Someone was thinking.
I think that for the most part I'm an extroverted person, I get a lot of energy off other people and don't get burnt out easily but there are time when I have to retreat and go solo for awhile, it was really fun exploring Amsterdam by myself, it's a beautiful city and designed well enough so you don't get lost easily and even though I was by myself and walking around at all hours of the night I never really felt un-safe at all, it was cool, and I got looked at wrong or threatened and everyone I met was really nice.
Dusk
Amazing Vondal Park
One of dozen of cool Graffiti examples
This traveling carnival was going on during the weekend we were there.
In case you were wondering, no, I didn't spend my entire time wandering around by myself.
Ann Frank house: No Van Gough Museum: Yes (no cameras allowed = no more pics)
"You sold us a bad batch of Space Cakes, You're a bad bad Rastafarian"
So yes as you can see we went to the Heineken Brewery. Permit me to tell you guys a little story: So we pay our 10 euros to go on the tour. We learn how beer is made, take a virtual reality tour of the "life of a beer bottle", Make the sing-a-long music video you see on my main page and ride the "Heineken stage coach" that you see in this picture. But after that's all done you get to go the bar and cash in your 2 remaining drink tokens. 3 free beers and a brewery tour for 10 euros, sounds like a good deal right? So we all cash in our first plastic token and chill with our Newcastles… just kidding Heinekens and start talking about what we're going to do that night. Well one of us convinces Jenna to go and flirt free beers out of the bartender and send her up to the bar to get 5 beers for one token. To our great surprise… she pulls it off! Woo-hoo! We're totally stoked, and then we send Leah to do the same but she never comes back and Jenna goes looking for her.
Apparently the whole "token thing" is a total scam designed to get your average non-alcoholic tourist out of the bar. But to a friendly pack of Californians this place becomes our oyster.
"Look at all these beers!" Insanity has ensued
Leah steps up her game again and gets us all FREE Heineken Pint Glasses and super cool Heineken "livestrong style" wristbands. We meet tons of travelers in the bar and even a couple tight locals and what started as an afternoon outing before another big night out has turned into well… a big night out, I even got to go behind the bar and pour a few drinks for people. The Bartenders were the coolest bunch of alcoholics I've ever met.
Amsterdam is also called "The City of Bikes" and is amazing to ride in. It's really hard for me to convey just how amazing it was to stop here.
"When you're strange, faces stand out in the rain, when you're strange, no one remembers your name" and then ride around Amsterdam all day long. Words don't express. Just getting lost in Amsterdam on a cruiser w/o a care in the world, no schedule, no map, no stress, just chilling with your iPod and exploring. Stopping in Vondal park and sitting in the shade on a park bench and watching dozen of dog owner playing catch with their dogs, spontaneously stopping at an eye-catching eatery and no worrying about college, getting into grad school, getting a real job, finding a place to live, nothing just living in the moment.
You knew it was coming didn't you? Well of course I went to the red light district, and while there are stories that I can only tell you in person, I do recall my last night there. Leah was tired out and sleeping at the Flying Pig Youth Hostel where we were staying downtown and my 6 amigos from Ecuador, Yes Ecuador they were tight and accepted me as an honorary hermano, we're already passed out, so it was just me at about 11:30, leaving in the morning and not about to try and smuggle or give away my remaining stash.
I'm wearing a newly washed tight fitting pair of faded Levi's 501s; a medium "mint" colored American Apparel T-shirt , a funky beanie I bought at the Villain's Vault in San Francisco and the oldest pair of Vans Slip-ons I own. I step out into a cool October night in downtown Amsterdam; I'm high on white widow and wide awake. It's been an amazing trip filled with great stories, great people and great fun. I wander down the streets of the red light district and see the sights I've become accustomed too. Multitudes of women, all in glowing back-lit lingerie, now I don't know what image you have in your mind, but I thought that the 10s would be few and far between, but no, it's quite the opposite, it's ridiculous, I was told that apparently these girls are scouted out by "recruiters" or basically "international pimps" that go around the world finding girls that are of Red Light caliber. Each one is different but what they all have in common is: They want your money, plain and simple.
Am I special? No. Am I going to discount because I not some sweaty disgusting fat guy? I don't know, The district slept along that night (not in general, but just not with me), but I did make eye contact with some of them. It's a weird experience making eye contact with a prostitute in the Red Light District of Amsterdam; Can they sense how shy I am? It's like I'm embarrassed to just flat gawk at them, I sneak fleeting glances as I stroll by, never slowing my pace… but never going that fast to begin with. Some don't notice, maybe they do notice but avoid me on purpose, they know somehow that I don't have 50 euro to blow on a hooker, and that even if I did I'm not the kind of person who would do something like that, who knows what kinds of things a seasoned professional of the RLD has learned about interpreting body language. Other look right at me, peering deep into my eyes with the most gushing of "come do me" looks, this is combined sometimes by knocking on the glass in front of them as if to say "yes… I'm real, I'm not a girl you're watching in a dirty movie, I'm real live interactive porno, and I'm all yours for a small price" I just keep on walking, sometimes shaking my head in disbelief that this place actually exists and that I'm actually here, it's all a bit surreal. Sometimes I'll make eye contact with a girl and she'll give me a feisty smile and hip pop, awww a spunky prostitute, I like this reaction the best it feels like she actually likes me, I totally buy into the fantasy and genuinely feel more confident, "that's right Josh, she's doesn't flash that smile for just anyone, that was just for you." Yes, I'm a complete idiot and loving every minute of it, giving myself actual props for being smart enough to leave all but a five euro note back safely away in my locker in the hostel.
I meander down the side streets where big scary black men proposition me with the same quick standard line that exits their mouths fast like "Coka-Ex Coka-Ex Coka-Ex" They're trying to sell me Cocaine and Ecstasy but I just ignore them and they don't care besides there inconspicuous appearance I'm sure each one of them is a millionaire, there are so many of them that they all must be selling a lot. Tonight's weird though, as I look around I look at the other people around me; I see the standard hordes of Asian tourists with absolutely no shame at all just posted in front of the girls windows staring right at them like they're animals in a zoo. I see your classic "gross pervy guy" you'd expect to see here with his equally nasty friends, I see very well dressed couples walking hand in hand and making small talk probably on their honeymoon pretending not to notice the debauchery going on all around them. I see packs of Bros, fraternity types in matching sweatshirts all completely wasted and loud. Not a whole lot of single girls as you might expect and not many parties of one like me either.
I duck into the Triple X Red Light Coffee Shop from the picture above and am invited to sit down by 3 long haired Finish guys, they seem to be into heavy metal even though two of them are wearing glasses, I give them what left in my baggie and they roll me a J with their "Port Royal" tobacco, it's from New Zealand and is apparently quite a big deal. They don't speak very good English but are super nice and I regal them with stories of London and how I live in "The OC" and am best friends with Lindsey Lohand and stuff, but the night is still young for me and I don't want to burn out in this café , I have to keep moving. I continue my adventure but it's getting late, and tired (I'm become suspicious that the chronic was substituted in my spliff) and begin to head in the direction of my hostel.
I cruise along and notice a large crowd of people congregated in front of a particular group of windows. As I get closer I see what the fuss is about, it's three of the hottest girls on the block, they know they're the shit and I overhear all kinds of "cowboy up" type encouragement from the crowd (to the girls and to their friends). What I can't help but notice though is that below the 3 supermodel's windows is another window with this (no joke) 250 pound black hooker with all her business spilling out of her get-up, sitting on a chair reading a book. I actually start to wonder if this is common night for her. do these windows rotate? Obviously if she's out here this late she's getting business, does she ever write tortured poetry of "the beauty upstairs"? This is depressing me and I move on.
(Disclaimer: The Following is 100 percent true) Something catches my ear… what's this? I turn around and see a long legged stunner; she's wearing a feathery push up bra and a neon green thong, she has platinum blond hair, huge fake boobs, super tanned skin, emo shaming amounts of eye-liner, and long fake nails. She's motioning me, "Come here, come here!" she says, could this be? I'm I really special this time? Two sleazy guys run over to her but she ignores them and points at me "You, I want You!" Against my better judgment I venture over. She steps out on the street and here I am, face to face with her. She asks with the most seductive of Dutch accents "Would you like to come in?" Like a nerdy Jr. High school treasurer I blurt out "Oh, uh oh, I don't have enough money" and smile sheeply, expecting her to, having heard this, slam the door in my face. Instead she leans in closer and says "I didn't ask you for any money… I just asked if you would like to come in or not. Feeling confident that she wouldn't give me a freebie I honestly answer "Well, yes I suppose I would LIKE to come in" To my great relief she cocks an eyebow and replies "Well how much money do you have?" Not wanting to insult her with my 5 euro note and now feeling more confident I reply (with one of my smoothest spontaneous compliments) "Y'know I just couldn't tell you how much money I have because to do so would only insult you (no joke I actually said that, hell yeah)" To this she actually gives me a big real smile, which disappears quickly as her snaps back into character and grabs the tassels of my beanie and physically pulls me into her, my chest is touching her chest as she tries to seriously tell me "I don't care how you get the money, steal it if you have to and come back to me." I crack my own big smile and reply "no I know think so" and then say genuinely "Thanks for pulling me off the street and making me feel special" to this she only gives me a look that says, you silly boy, and leans in quickly and gives me a little peck on the cheek and retreats back into her studio. I walk out of the Red Light District with a huge smile on my face, hoping that I never return, but knowing somehow I eventually will.
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